For quite a while now I've suspected there might be something...wrong. Maybe wrong is too strong, Let's go with; off, askew, amiss, distorted or maybe just strange. I think I've even figured out what it is. I have to do a little more research but what I've found so far seems to fit. I have to talk to somebody and see what they think or have experienced. I know the logical thing is to talk to an expert but that really scares me. It's not really real if the people with the fancy degrees don't tell you about it...you know what I mean? I don't think it's paranoia but at this point I can still tell myself that it is. But the thing is...I don't know how to fix it. The worst part is, the one thing I hate most is surrendering control. Well, that and admitting weakness. Those are pretty much obstacles I'm going to have to overcome if I'm going to move forward with this. The interesting thing is, by trying to chase it down for myself I feel oddly empowered. At this point it kind of feels like a pretty good mystery novel. Hunting down clues, reading between the lines making deductions. If it wasn't about me and wasn't a little scary it could be a fun little exercise.
I want to end this on a happy note. So until next time remember...
Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
