We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

So after all my plans and dreams of going to see The Family Shears at some point in the upcoming year (I told Sarah spring but I meant hopefully by June) all it took was a trip to see Jason to make it all spring into reality with frightening alacrity. Jason had scheduled his trip for mid-March and when I told him my thoughts on when I would go he told me I should look in March too because the prices are so much lower. Now, I had a certain amount in mind that I was willing to spend for tickets and that was pretty much what I would have paid for a round trip ticket to London in May. When I checked the tickets for March I was amazed to find out that they were literally half that price. So I instantly decided to move up my trip. But the thing is It got into my head that since the tickets were so much cheaper I might expand my itinerary. So I checked out what it would cost to add a stop in Richmond on the way home. To my great delight it still came in under what the May ticket would have been (though not by a lot). So in the end I didn't end up saving any money but I get to see my Sister and Brother-in-law my amazing almost two year old (when I get there) niece and I will get to meet my brand new 3-4 month old niece for the very first time. I think it was truly divine provenance and that this is what I was intended to do all along. Because this thing went through so smoothly despite my famous reluctance to change once I have an idea set in my head. So today I went in and got my little (2"x2" to be exact) photo taken and went down to my friendly neighborhood post office and put in the paperwork for my passport. So I will be, God willing, leaving 6:00am March 15 and I will be in an airplane or an airport until 6:20am London time March 16. That's a heck of a way to spend my birthday, huh? But then I will be in London until the following Sunday. Jason will be joining us there on Wednesday so we will get to kick around London together! Now there are a few spots I think are a must see (I'm actually most interested in seeing the Tate Modern Museum) but if you are reading this and have thoughts of what I should try to fit in while there I am open for suggestions. So a week in London and then I fly to Richmond and spend a week with my family there. If your keeping track a few things I want to see there; There is a great little music store down in Carytown called Plan 9 Records that I have to go back to, plus there is this island that is accessible by foot bridge that I would like to check out and I think I would like to see the campus while I'm there...again, anything else I should see I'm up for suggestions. Also while I'm there I might try to make a little time to hang out with my girls :) So as of right now the only thing holding me up is waiting on my passport. So if the government cooperates, 3 months from today I will be in the air! I am very, very excited and more than a little nervous. I've had butterflies in my stomach since I booked the tickets!

"Think like a man of action. Act like a man of thought."

One of my great joys is discovering quotes. I find great power in the words of people that have gone before me. I truly enjoy reading and thinking over things said by intelligent people. I sometimes sit at my computer for hours just searching quote sites. It was during one of these oratorical spelunking expeditions that I discovered my titular quote. It was given to me by Henri Louis Bergson. I say the French philosopher gave this quote to me because in all the time I've been looking, no quote has ever meant so much to me as quickly as this one has. So I can only deduce that it was meant specifically for me. In short, this is the man I aspire to be. For me it's the first part that I have had the most difficulty with up to this point in my life. My ideals have been fairly passive, accepting the things that come my way as being the things that were meant for me. Instead of actively making choices to improve myself and my lot in life. I have learned that you must have a plan and not be afraid to takes steps towards it's completion. The turning point for me (and this is still a work in progress) was finally believing that I deserve to be happy and should have a real life. But I love the balance this quote offers! I think peoples actions should be well thought out. It should be evident by the way you live that you have the ability to reason. The people I respect most are intelligent, thoughtful people who are proactive about their lives. I intend to count myself in that number. This is a goal I've given myself.

The Hardest Thing

So, as I'm coming to realize about myself, the worst feeling for me is helplessness. It really hits me hard when I am unable to help someone in need or have to stand idly by when someone is in pain. This is something that I've known for a while now but it was brought to the foreground of my mind today. You see, my friend Matt is a diabetic. He leads as close to a normal life as he can, but in doing so he sometimes isn't able to keep is sugar in check. Today it hit him hard. Today Matt passed out and started convulsing in a diabetes induced seizure. When the paramedics showed up and were able to get him somewhat stabilized but he didn't know where he was or what day it was. They decided that he wasn't rebounding as quickly as they would like him to so they took him in the ambulance to the hospital to fix him up. The whole time I couldn't do anything but stand there and try to stay out of the way. It has been a long time since I have felt that helpless. It scared me very badly, not only what was happening but the fact that there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. Matt is a strong kid and he will come back from this better than ever. But I'm still pretty shaken.