A Shift In My Family Paradigm

With the start of another holiday season I've been thinking a lot about the concept of family. I'm starting to fall out of line with the whole blood is thicker than water dogma. From the time we are born we are force fed the idea that we have to connect with people based solely on the fact that some of the same blood flows through their veins...no matter how minimal that flow may be. I'm sure historically this school of thought had it's merit; Hunter Gatherer family groups working as a cohesive unit are able to hunt larger prey, Pre-Industrial Revolution families working the same plot of land to increase the yield, Early Western settlers circling the wagons with family groups to ward of attack from the unknown...all of these things made life easier. I'm of the opinion that this mode of thinking is archaic and unnecessary in the modern world. With the world getting smaller with every passing year and fear of the scary unknown people being replaced by multi-cultural awareness, I think the old school family can be laid to rest and give way to a modern variation. To me a family should be the people you love most and want to be with, by choice not chance. I choose to spend my time and affection on people I feel comfortable with on an intellectual, spiritual or emotional level. I include in this number quite a few more of my friends and quite a few less of my biological extended relations. I have been quite blessed actually, because my immediate family is quite extraordinary. I sit in awe of both of my sisters who are both pretty amazing people. Both of whom are very intelligent and excel in their chosen fields. With the two of them I add to my group a Professor and a Sign Language Interpreter. One teaches the next generation to appreciate the value of language and the other brings language to those who know only too well what it's like to be without it. Those of you who know me best know how much I value words, and as such I find these both very noble callings. These two have brought me two others, their husbands. Two men that I am only too proud to call my brothers. Men that try to live lives of integrity and walk the path that the Lord has set before them while helping those around them as they go. In them I see perseverance and a giving nature that I find truly inspirational. I have a Mother that has the most caring heart of any person I have ever known. I have never heard a bad word uttered against her and when people I meet ask me if I'm her son it is with pride in my heart that I say I am. Now to my Father, it may seem, to some, hard to find a place for him in my new definition of family but I disagree. My Dad is a pretty smart cat and I'm quite sure he is where I get my uncanny ability to memorize (mostly) useless facts. Sometimes he's hard to get along with but it's his genes that have made some darn intelligent kids ;) Then there is my Nieces and soon to be Nephew, all I can say is there is nothing but love in my heart for these kids and no family of mine would be complete without them. With my current additions I have added to the fold a Social Worker, an I.T. guy, A Web Designer, A Mental Health Professional, an Art History student getting her Masters Degree, a Recreational Therapist, a Fireman (Fireperson?) and a Park Ranger...to name a few. I'm not saying that the people in my more "traditional" family are bad people because they aren't. They just aren't all people I would choose to spend very much time with. I don't know if this outlook makes me come across as cold or snobbish, but it is something I believe. I think life is too short not to spend it with the people you truly love just because society says you're supposed to love a different group.

Starting out...seeing what happens.

So...I've never tried to do anything like this before. Every time I've blogged before it turns into my opinions on books or movies or some trivial thing. I'm not saying you will never find that here but this Blog has a different purpose. A glimpse into my actual thoughts. You see, I don't like people to know too much about me. I have to have my barriers, I compartmentalize, I keep people in the dark. The depths of my mind can be a scary place and is not for the faint of heart. But the thing is, I'm beginning to realize that once I finally let someone inside they might actually be OK with what they find there. As cold and isolated and unflinchingly morose as that terrain can be it does have a flip side. I've figured out that I have a real heart for people and a desire to help. A side that has been nurtured and grown by a group of amazing people that I, for reasons I'm not exactly sure of, allowed into my mind. A select group of very close friends that know so much about me it scares me...a lot. I'm able to share my ideals and opinions with these people and as I'm laid out bare and vulnerable a funny thing happens, every single time. They don't deride me or make me feel as though my opinions or ideals are something less than theirs. They listen to me and share their thoughts and we have some unbelievably deep conversations about truly world changing things. These are smart people who know me and actually value me. I know these are things that most people find much earlier in life than I have. But I always had up my precious walls, but those things I used to protect myself blocked out much more than I had ever intended. As I'm coming to discover, things in my life only get better if I let people in. So this is kind of an experiment, just to see what happens when I actually tell people what I'm thinking about.

So anyways this whole rambling discourse was only meant to be an introduction. If it's any indication of how it's going to be it might all just be stream of consciousness salinger-esque crap. If I haven't already scared you off, check in once in a while and see what's going on. You never know what kind of random stuff might come out of my mouth...er...fingers.